Drop It Like It's Tibi

I literally don't know what happened but- somehow- I shot a look. (No? Yes!). The urge hasn't taken me in quite some time- so I went with it. Partly I guess I was feeling inspo'ed by my latest Zara purchases. I mean, who wouldn't? First up- the top. You've probably seen it errrrywhere and with good reason. It's got simplicity! It's got purity! It's got off-the-shouldery(ness)! And it's got a nice twist (both literal and metaphoric). Plus, it's the nearest I'm gonna get to Tibi this season (or indeed, any season). Then there's the trews. Expensive, yes. But ace. And I took an Extra Small. Just sayin' :) For some reason half way through this shoot I decided to go a little bit 'Last Night I Dreamt Of San Pedro' and did a tuck. I'm not sure it was particularly successful as there was ruckage. But if you like the whole bullfighter/waiter aesthetic you may dig on it. A bit. Anyway, I'm off to see if I can find a much needed tropical island breeze somewhere. Catch you soon xx

Top- Zara//Trousers- Zara

Bag- Mansur Gavriel//Slides- Birkenstock

Watch- ASOS//Bandana- ASOS

6 Things You Shouldn't Do On Instagram

Spamalot

The temptation is real. You've got five realllly great pictures and you wanna post them all at once. The world needs to know this very minute how great your new shoes are/how yummy your avo toast looks/how unfiltered that sunset is. But wait. Hold yer horses. Less is more. Pace yourself. For me, five pictures a day is lot to be posting (even if you space them out)- although some girls post that amount (and more) and seem like very happy bunnies. Quality over quantity applies to lots of things in life, and this is probably one.

Getting Away With It

Speaking of quality posts, it's also a good policy to not post pics that are out of focus/darker than the night/distasteful. I actually have great fun reporting to Instagram all the pictures I think are inappropriate.* If you ever go on the #changingroomselfie tag you'll know what I'm saying. *Yes, I am that bastard. And yes I have no life.

Piggy Backing Ain't Cool

Do you really wanna be one of those girls who writes under an ASOS picture- 'Hi, new fashion blogger here it would mean a lot if you could look at my account!!'. No, thought not.

Playing Those Mind Games

As we all know, there is a lot of shitty low-down behaviour on IG. Not least being the arseholes who follow you, then moments later unfollow you in a petulant Prince George-having-a-tantrum-type-of-way. Actually, Prince G is a bit pure to be dragging into the murky world of Instagram, so let's just say these fuckers are childish. And no-one wants to be a childish fucker, do they? 

Human Behaviour

I'm sure you've seen it- hell- you have may unwittingly done it- I'm talking about 'forgetting' everyone on IG is real. Yes! Real life human-beings with feelings! To that end, don't start having a conversation with your mate (no matter how inocuous) on a "big-timer"'s page, chit-chatting away as if they don't exist. It's their freaking account...they can seeeee you. And especially don't get into it if you're gonna bitch. Once upon a gram, two Danish people (one boy, one girl) decided to have a little chinwag under a picture of mine. Were they saying nice things? They most certainly were not. But after a bit of Google Translating, they were gone.

Repeat After Me

Some girls on IG are comment crazy. They have to say morning to everyone, night to everyone and comment on every last little thing in between. Overkill much? You betcha. Now I don't wanna piss on anyone's chips here- some beautiful lil' friendships form on the Gram, and one of the greatest joys of the place is communication with girls across the globe. (Well, it is for me). It's just that effusive, over-bearing, insincere balls that seems so unnecessary. 'Morning babe, you look stunning today!!' Especially if you said it the night before, and the morning before that. I've even seen people say a Starbucks cup is "stunning". Erm, hello? 

The Conclusion

Etiquette counts, unless of course you don't give a fuck about such things. Just you carry on posting twenty pics a day, saying to your mate 'I can't believe how thin she is!' under a very thin girl's snap and promo-ing yourself on every feed you can. But don't come crying to me when you get 10k!!!!

What behaviour do you think is best to avoid on IG (if any)? Hit me up, luv u, bye. 

Jeans- H&M//Slides- Birkenstock//Print- Sealoe

Kate Moss x Rimmel Nudes Collection

My avarice knows no bounds when it comes to buying make-up at the moment, so I leapt straight in when I spotted the new Nudes collection from the on-going collab between Mossy and Rimmel. There's five lippies and five nail varnishes to choose from and they are all completely wantable and wearable. I'm not one for shimmer or bold colours, so these are right up my strada. The shades of lipstick I went for are #40 #42 and #43 (but even the darkest shade #48 ain't that dark- although it looks it in the bullet). The texture is semi-matte and not drying (a massive bonus given that the shades err on the side of Bardotesque and could leave you looking a touch 'papyrus lip' within an hour). It's buy-one-get one half price in Boots and Superdrug right now, so- to paraphrase Gwen Stefani- whatcha waiting for?

All Lipsticks from the Kate Moss x Rimmel Nudes Collection #daretogobare

Tanned & Tied

I didn't have to debate too long or hard when I first spotted these shoes. I was like, "Size 5, please I'll take 'em" within a matter of micro-seconds. All of a sudden I'm finding black just a touch heavy (Sacrilege! Burn her at the stake!) so tan is my next natural pit-stop. I'm still lacking a tan bag in my life, which vexes me greatly. Having missed out on a Cammello Man Gav (twice), my attention has turned to Building Block. (Big thanks to the dyslexic person who works at Grazia who listed this babe as £140 and not £410 last week.....I  was literally flexing that plastic). Anyway, the search continues, by which time it'll be that moment to start thinking about AW palettes and purchases. You feelin' tan atm? Lemmie know x

Flats- Topshop//Jeans- H&M

6 Very Annoying Things About Blogging

Blogging is a right old rollercoaster. Some might even say "a journey". One minute you're putting out ace photos and highly pertinent posts; the next you're losing followers and questioning your very existence. Whilst it's all sunshine, priddy flatlays and shit loads of Instagram likes on the good days, the darker moments where everything bugs the hell out of you also need a little more delving into. So, let's delve.

Time Is The Enemy

Holy Moses, where does the day go? I mean, srsly. I get up at 6.30am but somehow I just never have a minute to do anything. And blogging is nowt if not time-consuming. It just munches time like a fat kid eats cake. If I shoot outside (which I increasingly don't- you guessed it- seem to have time for) I have to plan like a very planny-person to make it happen. And then there's the editing. Uggghh. This is literally the bane of my life. It takes me sooooo long. Admittedly I lack the skillz, but basically one shoot outside = a week of work. I shit you not. Shoot outside on Saturday- post won't be ready until Friday. Gun emoji.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

Coco Chanel once said "the best things in life are free, but the second best are very expensive". To which I can only posthumously reply "yasssss Gabrielle". Dunno about you, but I see a lot of bloggers banging on about how you shouldn't be in blogging for the freebies. What a load of balls. Of course you should be! Personally I rarely get sent anything- and oh my days- you should see things I do get offered. Jesus wept. But you know- I'm not cool, or cute and nobody reads this shit, so I can't- and don't- expect much. Bloggers who whinge on about how companies expect them to do posts "for free" hack me off the most though. Ok, so these girls are mostly full-time and need the dollar. I get it. But I also think they require a teeny perspective check. So, you get sent watches and clothes and make-up and get flown on free trips around the world....and you want paying too? What.The.Fuck. Count yourself lucky and stick a cork in it. 

Perfection Doesn't Exist

Life can look pretty sweet through a lens. And a filter. But perfect girls don't exist. They may look tall and thin and stunning- inside though- trust me, they're evil and have black souls. (Not sure if I need to write lolz now or not). The flip side of this 'perfection dilemma' is...do you reallllly wanna see an un-photoshopped picture of a girl with greasy hair tied-up in a scrunchie? Thought not. *NB I actually like scrunchies, but you get my drift.

Houston We Have A Problem

I have technical 'Reverse Midas Touch'. Literally every bit of techie kit I own dies or breaks or is something I could never work properly in the first place. My laptop is years old, super-slow and does the most random things. It takes me forever to upload any blog pics but, on the upside- it does give me time to paint my nails or do a quick scroll through IG as I wait for it to whir and click. As for iPhones- well- I am your granny. Blogging needs lots of cameras, and memory cards, and remotes and extra bits of storage, and wires, cables and HTML skillz and the list goes on. In my whole time blogging I've learnt piss all about any of it.

You Wouldn't Like Me When I'm Angry

There's a lot of fakeness and insincerity flying around, isn't there? Shitehawking I call it. Like the blogger who just writes 'cute' over and over and over on literally everyone in the whole wide world's IG pics. So, how amazing would it be to just go batshit and say what you really think? Imagine if everyone did that. Just for one day.  

I Don't Care About Clever, I Don't Care About Funny

Illiteracy is, seemingly, highly fashionable. I'm not sure if blogging just attracts spectacularly thick girls who can't even construct sentences, let alone spell, but it sure as hell feels like it. One high-profile blogger- particularly- seems massively adept at brandishing her stupidity. She can't even spell the brands of the items she's gifted correctly. Swear down. You'd think the brands would be pissed off, right? Doesn't seem that way. Sure, fashion blogging is primarily a visual medium. Readers (or perhaps that should more accurately be "viewers") wanna cut to the chase and see those images. And I understand that possibly everyone under the age of twenty one doesn't get the difference between your/you're, his/he's, their/there/they're; so it's not legit to solely beat bloggers with that stick. But not spelling your branded links correctly? Piss off back to school (or at least use spell check FFS) and stop wafting about pretending you're Sincerely Jules.

What narks you most about the big wide world of blogging? Hit me up x PS And please feel free to say "negative bitchy shit like this".

Shoes- Zara//Sunnies- Céline