Instagram Outtakes 2015

Most of my Instagrams never get shared. I either get cold feet, or I just don't think they're all that. (I know, I know- 'What the fuck is she discarding if her IG is full of the ones she's pleased with?!', you're thinking. To which I can only say- 'hearin' you, feelin' you'). This has been the year where I've had constant storage issues with my phone, so it's really quite 'lucky' that I've even got these few dribs n drabs to show. (I've basically had to hit delete more times a day than The Daily Mail has declared that someone is putting on 'a leggy display'). So let's have a quick chinwag about these ones that never made the grade.

Soho Disco

Looking at this shot now, it's not striking me as particularly rubbish. At the time I maybe thought it was just a touch too minimal (say whattt?!) and a bit like 'here's my bag, innit good?' I dunno, I just thought it needed another element.

Boyfriends Are Overrated

This tee struck a bit of a chord, what with me being the most undateable girl in the history of humankind, so I spent shit loads of time in H&M trying to get a good picture of it. I did actually post a cropped, close-up version in the end, but it tanked. Then it struck me it was probably very arrogant of me to go around declaring such things in a 'plastered-across-my-chest' kinda way and that the top was actually aimed at girls with boyfriends. Maybe. And I looked fat.

Tea And Sympathy

I took this snap with the idea of tagging 'CoffeenClothes' and trying to get a regram. (Yes!! I am that cynical/tactical/dreadful!!). Then I realised tea isn't coffee, nor does it look like coffee. And that boyfriend jeans deffo did not go with those snakey H&M mules, and also that the pic was pretty poor quality. Next.

Ballin'

I fell in love with this baseball dress in And Other Stories. I hadn't seen anything else like it anywhere else, and I also thought that it might, just might, make an IG. But when I went to put it on I couldn't actually do the buttons up (hence why my grey sports bra top is showing). It had one of those placket thingies and it was just super-fiddly. Plus, it was hot and the queue of people waiting to get into the changing room was epic,  and in the end I took this one frame then gave up and went to get a smoothie from The Good Life Eatery.

Mr Blue Sky

Remember that one, random, amazingly hot Saturday in September? It was 30 degrees and I was hanging out with my sis on the balcony of her new flat. We just had the nicest time- chatting and bitching- and just generally doing what sisters do. I reallllly wanted to post this shot but in the end I didn't have the balls. I actually like a priddy sky pic or a lush sunset, but bailing seemed like the best option at the time.

Les Culottes

I loved these Topshop denim culottes which made an appearance in the sale at only fifteen quid. Sold! But coz I don't have a decent mirror at home I hung around for ages trying to get a good snap of them to throw onto IG. Whilst I was there making a tit of myself, Faye Ripley the actress, and her daughter wandered into the next changing room and I was utterly distracted ear-wigging on their whole conversation. This one never made it coz again I thought it was a) a touch boring and b) I looked fat.

Cos You Like It

I found myself in Cos one Saturday for a bit of a try-on, as you do. For the fashion-blogger, an Instagram of you in the Cos changing-room is an absolute rite-of-passage. Again, I spent forever in there, sitting down, standing-up, flinging my hair hither and thither, all to no avail. I literally cannot do good selfies and I should probably give up.

Heart Eyes, As Per

I bought these Adidas Racer Lites primarily because I fancied the bloke who served me. He was mixed-race, covered in tattoos and didn't seem utterly repulsed when he asked me what I was doing that evening and I said I was going to see 1D at the O2. Even if he was pretending, props to him for that. I actually really love these sneaks but they are deffo a 'summer trainer' (being all fabriquey and perforated as they are), and they actually went in the sale on at least half a dozen websites the week after I purchased. Gun Emoji. Anyroad. I took a couple of frames of them for IG, and one flatlay worked quite well so I went with that. (It didn't bomb, just so you have full disclosure). This pic was a close runner-up though. And if anyone has any clue who the hot Brummie bloke is who works at Size on Carnaby Street let me know :)

One Hump Or Two

In one corner we have The Holy Grail. In the other, nowt. A camel coat should be there but it ain't. Reason? I.Cannot.Freaking.Find.One. But wait.....what? You're wearing one you silly girl. Welllll, gotta confess- this beaut of a coat isn't mine. Nope. It's my mum's. Can you see how freaking well made it is, and the kwality of the wool? That's coz it's Zadig & Voltaire. But not yer regular Z&G. It's actually from their Deluxe line, which means it's, big big bux. Like, huge. Ridick. Insane. It's also about 3 years old now (how ahead of the curve is mumsy?) so you can't even track this bugger down. All I can say is that I wish it was mine, and that the search continues. In fact, a boyfriend may be easier to come by. Actually, on second thoughts.....Catch you soon x PS Soz about the grey socks

Coat- Zadig & Voltaire//Jumper- Zara

Jeans- Acne//Boots- Zara

Bag- Gucci//Beanie- H&M//Sunnies- ASOS

Oh Yes She Did

The whole season long, I've been toying with the idea of an over-the-knee boot. Should I? Could I? Would I? Luckily, DuoBoots solved my dilemma for me with this stunning pair of Dita suede lovelies. They are seriousssly comfortable and super-easy to wear. Do I feel like I should be starring in Dick Whittington wearing them? Actually, not so much (although I do love a panto it has to be said, don't you?). So here's the thing- when ordering from Duo you enter into a whole new world of calf sizes. First of all I was like "Oh shit, another thing to be fat-paranoid about"- but basically all it means is you end up with a custom-fit boot, which is deffo no bad thing. I can honestly say that your feet (and legs) will be very pleased with you this Christmas if you feel the urge to self-gift a pair of these :) That urge is seemingly permanent with me. Gun Emoji. And yes I am wearing a tea cosy on me heid. Catch you soon xx

Jumper- Gap//Jeans- Acne

Boots- Duo*//Scarf- Topshop

Bag- Gucci//Beanie- H&M//Sunnies- ASOS

And So To Bed

The White Company catalogue is like porn for girls, isn't it? Every time that baby lands on the doormat I'm all over it, sighing and cooing, and wishing I lived in a beautiful whitewashed house lounging around all day, every day, in pyjamas and a cashmere dressing gown. Luckily, fashion has totally tuned into this sartorial chillaxing. First there was Kate Moss's amaze silk pyjama jacket from back in the summer. It was so sick I nearly cried. Then there was Zara's dressing gown coat (which a lorra lorra bloggers seem to have gone cray for- I tried it on and disappeared. There was literally no me. I was all coat. Some may say that's no bad thing. But let's leave that debate for now). And then there was this very wearable belted cardi, which Daria wore so beautifully in the Mango AW campaign. (What doesn't Daria wear beautifully? You're right. Silly fucking question). Not only is this stunner non-overwhelming and easy-peasy to wear but it's also in....drumroll.....a very covetable shade of camel. (What shade of camel isn't covetable? You're right, silly fucking question). So, here's to lazing, lounging, loafing, wearing blankets and having a very photogenic house/child/labrador :) xx

PS Yeah, I know. No sunnies. Again. Since I lost my Other Stories ones nothing else feels right. Isn't it awful when you look at your face and think is "Jeeeezus Christ all I can see is my mum, my dad and all four grandparents"? 

Cardi- Mango//Tee- Topshop

Jeans- Acne//Boots- Zara

Bag- Gucci//Hat- H&M

Beyond The Sea

So, yeah, this look is a touch riviera, but that's no bad thing, right?  I can't seem to put down a culotte at the minute or indeed, most things French. (Have you tried the scone in Le Pain Quotidien? It's so off the chain, I just can't). This particular pair of culottes had me at 'bonjour'. They actually come up a little tight and are very much on the high waisted side, but they are well worth a bit of squishing. Get yours here. My sweater is a naughty little Cos purchase. I just die in there, don't you? The men shopping in there are particularly amusing- they're just such fashion geeks. You know- the ones who shop in Liberty and are just so perfectly so. For the record men into fashion do nowt for me- I prefer straight-up ruffnecks and hood rats- but that's a whole 'nother story. Anyroad. These pictures- or indeed my chubby lil' self- do this beaut of a jumper no justice whatsoever. The feel of the fabric is heavenly, as is the cut. I can't actually find it on the website but this is priddy amaze, and I deffo wanna get this too. Catch you soon xx

Culottes- Zara//Sweater- Cos

Bag- Gucci//Slides- Adidas

Sunnies- H&M//Beanie- Accessorize

Slide Away

I literally dunno what took me so long to buy these slides. At first I thought maybe they were too flat. (Being short I like a little old heel boost of some kind or other). Then I thought, Zara are bound to get summink in I like even more as SS14 gets going properly. Finally, I actually tried the buggers on last week and I was totally sold. They're realllllly soft and comfy, and seem to go with an array of things that I hadn't considered they would. And while we're chatting about these beauts, let's just take a minute to give props to Clare Waight Keller. She doesn't get nearly as much love as Queen P AKA Phoebe Philo, and as the designer behind the original Chloe versions of these shoes (that Zara have slavishly copied, thanks Inditex) she deffo deserves nuff respect. (And for all the other amazing stuff Chloe hit us with). So, cheers everyone, basically :)

PS I joined Instagram t'other week after my lovely friend told me I should. Gosh, it's great on there. *Gnaws Off Own Arm Face*

PPS Yes, that is my upside down reflection in the first pic. I know, I look like a dick. But at least I look like a lanky dick. Hang on...maybe I should rephrase that.....

Slides- Zara//Bag- Gucci

All I Learnt At School

After searching high and low for a baggy trouser that didn't overwhelm, and didn't break the bank, I settled on these Zara classics. Basically, they are the standard bootcut trooser they do every season in their workwear range. I'm still not a happy fashion bunny though, as I want summink in a cotton fabric I think, and perhaps also with a higher waist to wear with crop tops. A bit like this. (Actually, come to think of it, I might go for both those pieces). Are you feeling a baggier trouser this S/S? Lemmie know :) xx

Polo- Gap//Trousers- Zara

Bag- Gucci//Trainers- Adidas

Beanie- Topshop//Sunnies- Asos