I Haul Therefore I Am

It probably won't come as any great surprise to you when I impart the following information: I shop all the time. My life is basically: Eat, Sleep, Shop, Repeat. But when September rolls around I up my hauling game to even more monumental levels in preparation for the oncoming season. For the last couple of weeks I have basically taken up residence in Zara and only popped home occasionally to check the post and deposit my wares. So, what have I purchased? Top of the A/W hitlist for me (and I think for everyone) is a pair of boots. This time I've gone for these which are strictly to be worn only with cropped flares of some kind or other. Of course now I've bought them I'm getting my eye into flared heels and sock boots (again, these would look so so wrong with skinnies, precipitating the need for a lorra lorra different cropped trews and jeans to set them off to their best advantage). Each A/W I tend to buy enough knitwear to make an entire sheep farm shiver, and I've started as I mean to go on with this cropped sweater (but I realllllly like this from Cos, I just struggle a bit mentally with spending £60 on a jumper). I've also bought this merino wool knit from H&M which is the kind of thing I'll live in all winter. 

Also, whilst on the subject of H&M I should also make mention of these freakin' amazing girlfriend jeans. They are super-comfy and super-slouchy and just ledge. I also couldn't resist another pair of lace-up flats in the form of these nude suedette versions of The Trend That Won't Die. (Although what I'm really truly lusting after are these suede beauts- again- money is the issue and nowt else). I am also slightly obsessed with raw hems at the moment, and yes- I could've chopped up some of my old jeans- but no, only new will do for Little Miss Greedy; so I got these. How's your hauling going? Lemmie know xx

Boots- Zara//Knit- Zara//Girlfriend Jeans- H&M

Lace-Up Flats- Zara//Raw Hem Jeans- Zara//Cacti- Ikea

Hauls, Boys And Life, Actually

I love a life update post, don't you? So much so, that I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring and attempt to spill (hopefully in a mildly diverting manner) on what's going down wit' me. So, first up-

Life As We Know It

My health, unfortunately, continues to dominate my existence. I've never been an "ill" person, and having to deal on a daily basis with so many difficult issues has left me in despair much of the time. *Soz to start on a downer, but let's get this shit out the way first. Health Problem 1: my eyes are still severely fucked up. When they say blepharitis is incurable, they really mean it. My day begins with rounds of eye cleaning, massage and eye drops. It's massively time consuming and massively annoying. I've basically forgotten what it's like to look and feel 'normal'. I miss wearing make-up so much (and in one of many illogical moves- I just keep buying the stuff-  but it's an oddly pleasurable torment all the same). There's no respite anywhere with bleph as heat, light, darkness, food and just about everything else trigger unbelievably painful symptoms. Also, having to take 'conventional' medication troubles me greatly- I'd love to stop as I want to try and heal properly and 'eat myself well', but I get scared every time I attempt to phase out my tablets. Plus, there's a money factor to all this- one that exacerbates my stress even more- every single eye cream, lotion, wipe, tablet and drop costs a freaking bomb. Some of that stuff is available on the NHS, some ain't. 

Then there's Health Problem 2: my brain infection. In 2013 I contracted a virus that affects the part of your brain where it meets the inner ear. It affects your balance and makes you feel shit. The symptoms are similar to those of Lyme disease (and if you know anything about that you'll know it's utterly terrifying). The best way I can describe it is when you're walking forwards, it feels like you're walking sideways. You feel drunk at best, and on a bad acid trip at worst. And in the last few weeks it's returned to haunt me. I had to have rehab in 2014 to help me walk again in a 'balanced' way, and now I'm feeling so devastated that it's back to blight my life. The only thing that relieves the symptoms is lying down and sleeping, and I have to fight the whole day not to give into that urge. I have zero energy and wake up knackered. Most days I honestly don't know how or why I even get out of bed at all. And then there's Health Problem 3: about a month ago I cracked my front tooth. I looked like an old gypsy. And after 3 rounds of dental work (drilling, injections, the whole nine yards- and a hefty bill of £500) I'm now the owner a new gnasher. One that is.....a completely different sodding colour to the rest of my teeth. The dentist has said it will 'settle down' and blend in more after a few weeks, but I'm doubting that. I can't actually face getting it done again- but I can't go around looking like Worzel Gummidge either. Don't get me wrong- I know there's people out there with way worse problems, and lots more pain than me, I'm just not the kind of person who can 'power through' their problems. And speaking of problems (which I very much have been doing) let's move onto:

Boys

Unsurprisingly (I guess), I don't have a boyfriend. I can almost hear Lloyd Grossman now "Who'd go out with a girl with a face like this?". (Feeling ya Lloyd). In many ways, being ill has taken me so far out of the dating game it's actually a relief. There is a manchild, however, I like. A lot. I met him about 18 months ago and if you look up 'bad boy' in the dictionary you will doubtless see his beautiful little face staring back at you. I like that we're a mismatch, I like that he's too young for me and I like that he's trouble with a capital T. I think of him daily. I stalk him on FB. (Obvs). I was *this close* the other day to liking one of his extremely frequent selfies. (In love with himself he certainly is). But what would that achieve? Absolutely nothing (I think). Sure, he might respond. But how could I possibly meet him looking like this? Could I kiss him when he still smokes and I've had to give up? (Actually, imbibing 2nd hand tobacco sounds quite appealing come to think of it). I can't drink, I can't eat out, I can't even go to the cinema (the extreme dark and light hurts my eyes). And not that he'd go- but I doubt I'll ever see the inside of a theatre again either (ref: cinema for explanation). All routes of being social and of being normal, are cut-off for me. The only things I can do are work, walk, and shop. Which brings me to:

Hauls

So I've been prattling on for hours now when all you wanna really know about is these shoes, right? Heaven aren't they? There was no point (boom boom) me buying them as the only time I'll wear them is on doctors appointments, but I desperately need little hits like this to cheer me up at the moment. So I went for it. If I hadn't had to pay for my tooth you may well be looking at pictures of a Chloé Faye instead. But the God Of Canines wants me to spend my dollar elsewhere. The bastard, eh? Catch you soon xx

Shoes- Topshop//Jeans- H&M//Jazzy Cushion & Picture Frame- Ikea

The Slingback

When I first saw blogger-most-excellent Monikh wearing these heels I knew they had to be mine. They were sold out on-line and at Oxford Circus causing me to have a Cry Face To Infinity And Beyond. After some serious searching I finally found a pair of Size 5s in Toppers Kensington and was all set to do a dash to W8 (with a possible additional quick scoot round Whole Foods while I was there). When.....bingo bango bongo they reappeared on-line. Oh joy! Oh heaven! There is a God! (And his name is Phillip Green). When they arrived I did a little shoe dance (well, as much as I could without twisting my ankle). They kinda remind me of the shoes I wanted to wear when I was 8. My Mum luckily had a very good selection of heels for playing dress-up with- imagining how sophisticated and 9-5ish and Rive Gauchey I'd be when I grew up. The sophis bit never happened, but the shoe collection certainly did :) Catch you soon xx

PS Why am I doing my still-lifes outside I hear you cry? Well, over the last few weeks things have gone a little bit shit for me, to say the least. The building where I live has been covered in scaffolding and as a result I can barely see the hand in front of my face, let alone have enough light to shoot inside with. Gutted doesn't even butter the biscuit. I cannot wait to get back to normal, and hopefully restore my eyesight too :)

(Please leave as many sympathetic comments as possible, thank-you, A Cinema-Dweller)

Slide Away

I literally dunno what took me so long to buy these slides. At first I thought maybe they were too flat. (Being short I like a little old heel boost of some kind or other). Then I thought, Zara are bound to get summink in I like even more as SS14 gets going properly. Finally, I actually tried the buggers on last week and I was totally sold. They're realllllly soft and comfy, and seem to go with an array of things that I hadn't considered they would. And while we're chatting about these beauts, let's just take a minute to give props to Clare Waight Keller. She doesn't get nearly as much love as Queen P AKA Phoebe Philo, and as the designer behind the original Chloe versions of these shoes (that Zara have slavishly copied, thanks Inditex) she deffo deserves nuff respect. (And for all the other amazing stuff Chloe hit us with). So, cheers everyone, basically :)

PS I joined Instagram t'other week after my lovely friend told me I should. Gosh, it's great on there. *Gnaws Off Own Arm Face*

PPS Yes, that is my upside down reflection in the first pic. I know, I look like a dick. But at least I look like a lanky dick. Hang on...maybe I should rephrase that.....

Slides- Zara//Bag- Gucci

Je Suis Anglais

Most of the time I wish I was French. I love eating their food, listening to them chattarge and- most of all- I adore wearing their clothes. I actually live within spitting distance of a Sandro, a Maje, a Comptoir, a Petit Bateau, a Kooples and a Claudie Pierlot. Incroyable. Which makes for an unhappy purse, but a very happy moi. At the moment I particularly can't get enough of a Breton stripe. (You may have noticed). My wardrobe has always been stuffed to bursting point with stripey tops, dresses and tank tops but imagine my excitement when I found this little beaut in H&M recently. Not only is it tres magnifique, but for some reason it was reduced to £7. Double win. I also picked up some new boyfriend jeans when I was in H&M (still working that Glamour voucher discount to the max), and some gorge little slides from Topshop to complete the look. You feelin' stripes this S/S14? Lemmie know! xx

Jeans- H&M//Top- H&M

Slides- Topshop//Sunnies- H&M//Polishes- Essie

Head To Toe

Ok, so, confession time. My credit card got stopped last week. Ooops. But let's not worry about that right now. Let's just gaze with greedy eyes at my latest little purchases. First up- the heels. Gotta say, they actually looks loads better on. Promise :) And thinking about it, I could've done with the hardware being in silver not gold. But I actually got 25% off and they are insanely comfy. (Bugger, just seen these. Prefer 'em. Gah!). Second up, this striped tank. Personally, I don't mind a low arm-hole, and I will happily pair this with culottes and bermudas all Summer long. Finally, these sunnies. They're a bit more than I'd normally spend (hence the card stoppage), but I reallllly love 'em. So that's alright then. What have you been haulin' recently? Lemmie know! xx

iHaul 2.0

I couldn't resist this shamaze check jumper in Topshop when I hit up Oxford Circus last weekend....all the while thinking and dreaming of this Stella Knit. It's kinda skimpy and not nearly oversized enough for me, but I'll shoot it nonetheless and see how the hell it turns out.

I've actually become a bit of a New Balance addict of late. If I could have 574s in every colour I think I would. These'll probably be the next in my shopping basket. They are ridick comfy and make me that much needed inch or two taller. I've also gone for this heavenly A/W 13 Essie colour 'Vested Interest'. It's perfect.

I also scooped up this top in Zara a couple of weeks back. It kinda puts me in mind of a Trapeze Bag. God, I crave a Trapeze like an Instagram Rich Kid. Phoebe is doing this colourway for S/S 14 so I'm feeling it might have some longevity.

And finally, who can resist burgundy? These Gap coated skinnies are my new go-to. Obvs, I'd love some Kate Bozzie x Topshop leathers or some Izzie x H&M side lace pants but I just got my gas bill and it wasn't a priddy sight. Furthermore, Topshop have changed their beanies this year, and I'mma have a hissy fit about this unfortunate development. Mostly coz the new ones are scratchy and pre-turned-up. Still, the shape is better than most and actually fits my fat swede. Get yours here.

What have you been hauling recently? Hit me up with your purchase news :) Catch you soon lovelies xx