Monday July 2nd
Smoothie- £4
Evian- 60p
Two Newspapers- £3.20
Passport Photos- £6
I do some errands this morning- top of the list being to get some new passport pics. The photo booth machine barks out orders at me and I'm convinced the whole post office can hear. Not sure why I find it mortifying but I do. I've been meaning to try out a smoothie at a new health cafe near me, but when I find the place- it's messy and dirty and the girl serving spends five minutes speaking French to two customers before getting to me. I was gonna flounce out (#dramaqueen) but it's boiling hot and I'm desperate for a drink. It's totally not worth it and it leaks all over my slides. I buy an Evian to get rid of the taste and on my way home some builders call out at me- 'Hello Bitch, can I have some water?' I seriously want to respond with some witheringly witty reposte, but decide it's actually better not to say anything. I slink home feeling gutted I'm not more like Dorothy Parker.
Tuesday July 3rd
Doctor- £288
Two Realisation Par Dresses- £370
Two Rebel Mylks- £2.70
Two newspapers & Two Magazines- £7
One Good Life Eatery Smoothie- £6
I have a very early start today at the endocrinologist. My sister drops me off on Harley Street en route to her office, and although the doctor is lovely and thorough and understanding I'm just not sure I'm getting anywhere. I leave feeling devo to have spent £288, especially as the Realisation Par pop-up has just popped-up at Selfridges. It's manic AF when I get there and I just start wildly grabbing at anything in Size Extra Small and Size Small. Turns out I was a bit optimistic on the Extra Small front. There are lots of skinny gorgeous girls trying stuff on and I feel fat and old and like I should be doing something a bit more constructive (and a bit less expensive). I chat to an Aussie girl at the checkout, who I'm fairly convinced is Teale Talbot. (I later find out she isn't). Her style is beyond on point though (she's layered a tee under her dress to spectacular effect) and I feel (again) like the ugliest uncoolest girl alive. I leave with two dresses. How have I actually spent over £600 in an hour? I want to cry but I turn to my drug of choice instead- a Good Life Eatery smoothie. They are six quid and I try to limit myself to one a week as a treat but that rarely goes to plan.
Wednesday July 4th
Two newspapers £3.20
1 Rebel Mylk £1.70
1 packet of Goldenberries £2.20
1 bottle of Creed £185
I feel so guilty about yesterday that I decide to take some bits back to Topshop and H&M (£80 and £36 respectively). That would all be well and good if I didn't have to buy a birthday present. I decide on a bottle of Creed. Big mistake, HUGE. It's a hundred and eighty five quid. For the small size. One hundred and eighty five fucking quid. But it literally smells of rich people (as well it might) which I find hilarious and bizarrely intoxicating so I decide to go with it.
SHOP THE LOOK
Thursday July 5th
Two Newspapers £3.20
One Copy of Vogue & One Copy of Elle £6
One bottle of Windolene £1
Thank God I manage to not spend much today. My mum's obsessed with Windolene (LOL) and I see a big bottle on offer for one pound so I grab it for her.
Friday July 6th
Two Newspapers £3.20
Ok Magazine £2
Two Rebel Mylks £3.40
Two packs of Organic Beetroot £2.10
Jordans Organic Oats £2.09
One Carton Organic Oat Milk £1.55
One Organic Cucumber £1.35
One Organic Romaine Lettuce £1.26
Twelve Organic Eggs £4.59
One Bottle Raw Organic Apple Cyder Vinegar £2.60
I do my weekly food shop today. Every time I tell myself 'You can't really afford to shop in Waitrose any more', and then I head straight to Waitrose. I wouldn't actually even know where an Aldi or a Lidl are. Well, that's my excuse. Plus, I only really like Duchy products. (Yes, I do realise how ridiculous that sounds). Luckily, I don't have a huge appetite, and actually one bag of Organic Brown Rice (at £2) can last me ten meals or more. (Just a quick rice tip while we're here- you should soak and rinse your rice well to get rid of the phytates and the arsenic- just sayin'). I'm still reeling from having spent so much this week, so I'm pleased I have a good supply of food staples at home- a large bag of Organic Quinoa and a few loaves of Organic Rice Bread which I buy from a specialist bakery and then slice and freeze. Nowt like planning ahead r kid.
Saturday July 7th
Hair Colour £48
One Good Life Smoothie £6
Two bottles of Organic Coconut Kefir £8
I've had my regular hair appointment booked for six weeks now but it's the day of England v Sweden. I considered cancelling but then I figured they'd probably have the match on the big screen there. They don't. (WTF). So I watch the first half on my phone with all the junior stylists peeking over my shoulder. I sip on Coconut Kefir whilst watching (it's unreal, you need to try) and then leave with wet hair during half time and drive like a bat out of hell to watch the second half with the fam. I just make it and incredibly we win.
Sunday July 8th
H&M Order £76
One Good Life Smoothie £6
It's another scorching hot day and I wear one of my Realisation dresses. It's beyond comfortable as it's silk and it basically feels like I'm wearing nothing at all. Me and Mum go for lunch (Mum pays-two salads and sparkling water) and then we do a bit of shopping for her. She's got a party coming up and wants a new outfit. We do J Crew, Sandro and then end up in Whistles. Mum goes for two floral tops as options and while I wait one of the assistants asks about my dress. She tells me she likes it and we chat generally about the Realisation frenzy. She's stunning looking and once again I feel devastated to be so short and ugly and so inhibited about the way I look (oh the irony). And yet again I end up self medicating with a Good Life Smoothie. I finish the day with an H&M order (I use an H&M Club voucher for ten quid off. Normally I buzz off any discounts I get but I've overspent so horrifically this week it seems irrelevant somehow). I thank my lucky stars I've had no bills this week and vow to rein it in over the next few days. (Did you just hear Cher Horowitz loudly proclaim 'As If'?).
