7 Things Instagram Has Taught Me

I'm still a relative newbie on Instagram. It's been a baptism of fire, fo shizz. I have to confess I find it fascinating and horrifying in equal measure. (My pictures: horrifying, everyone else's: fascinating). Certain things seem to 'work' on there, and certain things don't. Let's have a heated debate about these very tingz. 

Face Versus Feet

My feet are slightly popular- my face- not so much. I've actually discussed this with my blogger buddy Mission Style (her IG is here), and she experiences the same thing. I guess if you're a supermodel the reverse is probably true. But for us mere mortals, the plates of meat seem to win, feet down. Which is, er, handy (or maybe feety) for those of us with a lorra lorra shoes.

Most People Will UnFollow You

Yes, they are all bastards. And why do spammers have endless pictures of realllly disgusting plates of food on their accounts? As with everything in life, competitiveness rules. Hate that.

You Have To Show The World Your Stuff

The hauls, the purchases, the new-ins, the same freaking shoes that everyone's got from Zara. This is the shit you gotta post. And you've gotta post it nicely, in a flatlay, with lots of light. Ain't nobody got time for a dark picture. 

Tagging Things Doesn't Help

Tapping for tags is a complete waste of time because people will still ask you where your stuff is from. Endlessly. Even when somebody has asked you where your skirt is from, and you've told them, someone else will then ask the very same question. Are their eyes sewn on? It's entirely possible.

Shouting Out Is A Thing, A Very Big Thing

Now call me old-fashioned, or just a completely contrary dick, but when someone tells me to do something, I generally do the exact opposite. I don't like being told what to do. Do you? So why the sweet baby Jesus does SFSing work? I have no freaking idea. But on Instagram- which has its very own ecosystem and everything- if someone says 'Follow this person, they're great!' loads of people do just that. Weird innit? And I'm very guilty as charged. The lure is strong. (Not to do the following thing, but to do the shout-out thing).

Nobody But Directioners Like One Direction

I'm a Directioner Til I Die. I ship everyone with everyone. And yep, I do realise the whole of the Tinternetz is full of 1D related shizzle (thankfully), so I'm grudgingly having to accept that fellow fashion bloggers mostly don't wanna see endless pictures of The Boy Styles. Or me in my endless selection of Harry t-shirts. But this is my blog, and I'll cry if I want to, so here he is from a while back. (Can't believe how short his hair is and how few scribbles he's got!)

Skinny And Pretty Wins Every Time

Life is not really that different from IG. If you're cool in real life, you'll be cool on there. If you're thin and pretty, you'll be thin and pretty on there. Sure, there's filters and all that shit, but the real you always shows through. You just leak out, whether you like it or not. I could post a piccie here of me trying to be thin and pretty, or an actual thin and pretty person to illustrate my point. But instead I'm going to show you my new Mansur Gavriel bag which I heart like a MOFO (I actually only managed to get my hands on one of these beauts because of Instagram....there I was idly browsing my feed....only to see the Man-Gav girls announce that their very own website had gone live selling yer actual bags not half an hour since. The rest is history). And just for larks, here's my newish pony slides which I also heart nearly as much as Calum 5SOS. What are your IG experiences thus far? Hit me up :) I'm pretty sure that in a year's time this post will look as quaint as a Motorola Flip Phone. If not sooner.

Blue Slides- Whistles//Grey Shopper- Zara//Striped Vest- Zara

Rings- H&M//Sunnies- Quay

Bucket Bag- Mansur Gavriel//Ponyhair Slides- Topshop