I've been stuck in a skincare rut for a while now. Actually, make that forever. Recent events, though, have forced me out of my ancient tried-and tested routine and into pastures new- namely- the wonderful (extensive, but not expensive) world of Bioderma. So what happenings have prompted all this? Being diagnosed with an incurable illness, that's what. (Sadface). I was told that I have blepharitis last October (although I've probably had it quite a bit longer than that) and since then my life has been turned upside down. In case you don't know, bleph is an eye condition. It means that I am in constant daily pain. My eyes sting, burn, swell (to a post-boxing match size despite not having been in the ring) and worst of all- reveal the world to me in a blurred state. And unfortunately, two Nurofen won't even take the edge off it or help remotely, like they do for most other things. Nor does Tramadol, Co-Codamol or even the big beast itself-Valium. The best you can ever do with bleph is attempt to put it in remission. So far though- despite having seen 3 opticians, a GP and 2 eye specialists- I am no further forward in trying to get even the teeniest tiniest bit better. And guess what? When you get bleph you often get Acne Rosacea too. (It really is the gift that keeps giving). For ages I'd noticed a patch of red skin on my face, but I knew that the delightful accompanying spots were not of the regular common-or-garden kind. Mostly coz I've had yer regular C-or-G acne forever (dial that Ming-O-Meter up to 11). So in a perverse way I was kinda pleased to actually pinpoint that particular bit of the problem. Both my mum and my sis use Bioderma and between them they have a litany of skincare issues that rival War & Peace in their epicness. So I was very happy to give their products a whirl as I'm having to try anything and everything to help me through this hideously hideous time (ie the rest of my life).
It's not getting perfect results but it's helping quite a bit. If your skin goes cray with most things I'd recommend it. (And don't yer just love the word 'squames'? I have no freakin' idea what they are but I'm sure I must have them).
So, aside from the pain, the burning and the blurred vision there's other stuff to contend with- like- how I look. Now, I'm under no illusions about my face. I'm not blessed. I need make-up. A lot of it. And for the last three months I haven't been able to wear any. God how I miss it. Imagine not being able to wear any eyeliner or mazzy? Sounds like hell? You're right. And I'm beyond pale. (Possibly even beyond the pale). My eyelashes are like Boris Johnson's. So, I can't do anything- I can't easily face the world like this. I deffo can't socialise, and I can barely work because using computers makes my eyes burn. And blur. Plus, I'm stressed to the max. I'm trying with every fibre of my being to be calm, be healthy, exercise more and all that incredibly boring stuff. I'm on a super-dull Anti-Inflammatory diet (no wheat, no dairy, no sugar- including all fruit- no meat, no caffeine, no nuthin'). I've given up smoking and Diet Coke and every last little thing in the world I enjoy. Blogging is actually the only thing that's keeping me slightly sane- although I've had to invest in an anti-glare protection screen for my phone and iPad as I'm not supposed to look at digital devices for too long. Basically, my life is hell on wheels. Don't get me wrong- I know there are people with way worse illnesses out there- and with far sunnier dispositions- but I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. *Spot the slight lie. If I can ever even remotely start to feel better then this is my plan: buy an Urban Decay Nakeds palette, buy a few Make-Up Revolution palettes as well, go to the Charlotte Tilbury counter in Selfridges and drop £100 just coz and then buy every new mascara on the market and wear shit tons of make-up all day every day. At the moment that's a pipe dream, but here's hoping.